


cool shit

by niltia



Series: he blinded me with science [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 04:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15700203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niltia/pseuds/niltia
Summary: Hank hates when Connor puts stuff in his mouth for instrumental analysis. The forensics department personnel, on the other hand, think it’s the best shit ever.





	cool shit

When Hank and Connor arrived at the scene for the case they’d just been assigned, it was already swarming with personnel from other departments. It looked like a weird case with a lot of bodies. There were two photographers, several forensic assistants collecting swabs and fingerprints and bagging evidence, and a forensic scientist had even been dispatched and was very carefully peering at what appeared to be a detached finger sitting on the fireplace mantle. 

On second thought, maybe it wasn’t that there were so many bodies as much as it was that there were a couple of bodies in many parts. 

Connor stepped primly over an arm as he made a beeline to examine something in particular, God knows what, while Hank more leisurely made his way through the room to find the overseeing officer for the scene. 

“Hey, Chris. What do we got tonight?” Hank could see in his peripheral vision that Connor was examining the leg and torso of a man (maybe? It was hard to tell) propped up halfway against a wall. There was a large chunk missing out of the thigh. 

“Evening Hank. I don’t have much for you, sorry. We got a noise complaint from a neighbor, and when there was no response, we forced entry because the front curtains were open and we could see, well, this.” 

Hank nodded along, a little distractedly. Connor was about to stick his fucking fingers in the hole in the detached leg. For fuck’s sake. Noticing Hank’s gaze, Chris turned to look and grimaced.

“Hey! This is my scene, don’t contaminate shit!” The scientist who’d been looking at the finger on the mantle rushed over and made a grab for Connor’s hand, which he deftly avoided. 

“I assure you, Dr. Rogers, my hands are more sterile than your gloves. I am capable of generating sufficient electrical resistance in my fingertips to heat them to the point of sterilization for any potential contaminant organisms.”

The woman held up her hands. “How the fuck did you know my — oh, android. All right, all right, you do you.” 

Connor dipped his fingers into the wound and then, ugh, brought them up to his mouth and licked them. Hank rolled his eyes. Next to him, Chris made a retching sound. 

“ _What the fuck,_ ” the woman, Rogers, said. 

Either oblivious to the woman’s bemusement or deliberately ignoring it (Hank would bet the latter), Connor stood up and turned to tell Hank his probably gross findings. “Lieutenant, I’ve detected the presence of the organism _Eikenella corrodens_ in the wound. 96% of clinical cases where this organism is cultured from a non-cranial skin wound are due to human bites, as this organism is normal flora in the mouth. I believe we may be dealing with either cannibalism or a drug-induced frenzy in the attacker.”

Hank rolled his eyes again, for good measure. “Okay, great, so we’ve got a nutjob or a roided-out junkie on the loose. Can you —”

Dr. Rogers cut him off. “What the fuck. How did you do that? Do you have PCR built in or something?” Okay, kind of rude. Hank felt like maybe it wasn’t okay to go asking androids about their insides. Maybe? Who knows.

Connor smiled his carefully neutral communicating-with-a-new-stranger smile at her. “Yes, Dr. Rogers, I do in fact have several different sequencing instruments available. However —”

“Please, call me Yolanda.” 

Connor’s smile turned a little more genuine. “Certainly, Yolanda. I did not identify the organism in this particular instance using sequencing; I have a MALDI-TOF instrument specifically for identifying bacterial organisms. I believe this was considered to be more economical.”

Yolanda whistled. “Shit, you’ve got a mass spec just like, _in you_? Goddamn. I wish I could get me one of those. Who makes it, Bunker?”

“This particular model was manufactured in partnership with CyberLife by Valerian Dynamics.”

Yolanda nodded repeatedly. “Sweet, sweet, cool, you know that’s not admissible in court without being run through a QC-validated instrument though, right?”

Connor inclined his head. “I am aware. While it has been useful in my current job capacity, I do not believe that when I was designed it was ever intended that any evidence I gathered be used in a court of law.”

Yolanda grimaced. “Right. Well.” She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “Wanna change that?”

Connor glanced over at Hank for approval. Hank shrugged. This whole officially-employed android detective thing was new for them all, he doubted Fowler would mind letting personnel make cozy with the forensics department.

“If you are speaking of having any of my on-board analytical instrumentation quality control validated, I would greatly appreciate that. Please send me an e-mail to arrange timing, I’m sure you can find me in the directory. I don’t want to keep you from your duties any longer.” 

“Yeah, of course. I’ll be in touch.”

Connor managed to keep a mostly straight face as he turned to walk over to where Hank and Chris were standing watching, but as he got closer, he stopped being able to hold in his grin. “Did you hear that, Hank?”

“Yes, Connor, I’m not deaf yet. Congrats on making a weirdo friend.”

“Not everyone finds my analysis methods ‘disgusting,’ it would seem.”

Chris laughed at him. “Buddy, I’m pretty sure she still found it disgusting, it’s just that those forensics types have some wires crossed where disgusting equals cool for them.”

—

> TO: **Forensics** , **Water and Sewer Services** , **Environmental Quality** , **Safety**  
>  FROM: Rogers, Yolanda  
>  SUBJECT: New DPD detective
> 
> HEY EVERYBODY THE NEW ANDROID HIRE AT CENTRAL STATION HAS A BUILT IN MASS SPECTROMETER

> TO: Rogers, Yolanda  
>  FROM: McVickers, Oliver  
>  SUBJECT: Re: New DPD detective
> 
> Jesus christ yolanda you’re going to get us a discrimination suit or something, can you not?

> TO: McVickers, Oliver, **Forensics** , **Water and Sewer Services** , **Environmental Quality** , **Safety**  
>  FROM: Rogers, Yolanda  
>  SUBJECT: Re: Re: New DPD detective
> 
> NO SERIOUSLY, HE OFFERED TO COME IN AND GIVE A DEMO, MICROBIOLOGY DEPT 2 PM FRIDAY, EVERYONE’S INVITED
> 
> > _Jesus christ yolanda you’re going to get us a discrimination suit or something, can you not?_


End file.
